Disappointing is what you are

When people you spend time with never try to get to know you it becomes disappointing. It is disappointing because when you meet people that do scratch beneath the surface you experience a friendship can take you on a wild ride. And once you realize that you have spent years around this person and they have yet to acknowledge your strengths, faults and efforts; your self-esteem hits rock bottom. And yet being the notorious avoider of all problems, I will probably never confront these types of people. Although I should try. 

 

Speaking of confrontation, just recently I had to confront someone about their drinking problem. It was harder than I thought. I literally never thought I would be in this position. But I recognized the red flags immediately and confronted this person. And you know what, I did not get much satisfaction from this task. I felt as if I was intruding or stepping into some shit that I had no business in being. You think it makes me feel good to know that all the while we were having fun, I was potentially an enabler?You think I get a kick out of having to see you go thru this? You think I get a kick out of having to worry about your problems?

The dangers of hip-hop on the russian community

Jeez

Yes that is yours truly. Hosting parties leaves your lobby dirty and stinky.

I love mini adventures

So crazy party last night. I am still hungover. I woke up on the floor of some Japanese family’s rec room, and they would NOT stop screaming. 

 

Ok so that did not happen to me. That’s a quote from Anchorman. But so the real story was that last night it was my friends’ going-away dinner, which was conveniently held at an all-you-can-eat and all-you-can-drink place. Which was great because I love endless amounts of sushi and sake bombs. We(I) ended up drinking way to much in a short period of time and my memory starts to get fuzzy. Supposedly as we returned to my friends place I passed out. At around 4:30 my friend starts moving his feet which are at my waist and since we are sharing the couch he wakes me up. So at this point I realize that I passed out too early and have the worst headache. Miraculously my friend agrees to get up as I cannot go back asleep in a room that is type:sauna hot while laying on a leather couch. That is type:gross. So at around 5 am we head out to my car, where we notice a Mcdonalds conviently located across the street. I cannot let this oppurtunity for a hearty breakfast pass me. So we decide to get some food. 

The crowd at 5 am on a Saturday is as you imagine nothing but the typical regulars. You have the kids that are still partying from last night. The bum looking old person. The old guy in a wheelchair that my friend decided to help him get inside. And this was by far the funniest/embarrassing sight. As he is helping this old guy in a wheelchair squeeze into an overly complicated side door, I can’t help to laugh at the site. It looked like a car attempting to parallel park in a space too small for them to fit in. The constant readjusting of the angle and my friend shuffling around this man to somehow help him fit in was enough to get me to laugh and slightly scold myself for laughing at people with a  handicap. So another lady comes in at around the same time we sit down for our food( because this environment was too good to miss) and before she says anything the manager tell her that she is later than usual today. Which I find absurd. So she does not sit with the other old bum looking regulars, who have not all arrived together but seemed to comfortably congregate at one table. So we have our food, and moved onto our next place. At this time my friend said he had work in a couple of hours, and I suggested I might as well keep him company and continue on our adventure.  So we proceeded to go to starbucks which was lame, and then one of us had this brilliant idea of taking a walk on the boardwalk. So we proceeded to go and get some fresh air, and all the while I have never seen the streets so quiet and empty. It was surreal. The walk was great, it felt great to do something like that. it was great not just because it was random but because it was surreal to be out and about when nobody else is awake, and the streets are filled with silence and the occasional professional heading to work. We walked until we got really cold and then it was practically the end of our morning adventure.

In conclusion: I love random shit like that. Because I am random. And some people are great to be random with because they don’t judge(blatantly).

 

 

sake bombs make you go rawr

I took a quiz

I wanted to get this book called the Art of Seduction. My friend thought I was evil for even considering to buy it. In my defense it had historical, philosophical, and psychological themes. Pretty much what I am into. Oh well, I guess I had to prove that I am not evil. And instead I found this quiz when I googled the book.

 

And no I do not think I know everything more than anyone. I am actually pretty insecure with my intelligence. And no I do not judge, if I judged I would have never met anyone outside my childhood friends.

So today

i developed my best roll of film. it was nice to shoot with film for a second.

creepy shit

So last night I felt something I never felt before. I am afraid I was just over exaggerating my fear and put my emotions and fears into this cliche box of expected feelings. Ok so right before I went to sleep, I was laying in my bed in the dark on my phone downloading new applications because that helps me go to sleep. So right I start to drift in this sleepy mood, I turn over and close my eyes. Some moments go by and i feel as if someone is standing by my bed. And I sense that there is nothing. I don’t know what to think of this so I turn over and pretend I do not feel a thing. Later in that night, since I cannot remember the details of the dream I am only remembering the last moments. 

 

It’s like in my dream I am constantly aware that there is a person or a figure, since I do not even remember whether I knew who it was. Right so from what I remember I was frightened by this person entering my room. And I knew that they were headed for my room and right as soon as they are about to walk in, I wake myself up and not much later I hear knocking on a window. Now I realize that this is somebody else’s window, since I am on the second floor anyway.  So right I lay there really scared, hoping that I do not fall into the same predicament that I was in a second ago in that horrible nightmare. 

 

Now this could tie into the fact that I am stressed, I have a stressful week ahead of me. It could be because I have not had the most relaxing weekend. Quite the opposite, the weekend was full of drunk retarded moments. I spilled a drink on my laptop and so the keys are sticky and weird. 

Also I was talking to a friend and what he said really pissed me off, that these american, idiot, middle class, college students are boring. That they have no social skills. I was disgusted and offended for more than one reason obviously, so I decided to probe this thought. Either way, what he meant to say was that he missed his friends back at home and that he was feeling isolated from his norm. And that he is a bastard that says things that make no sense and are just really bad outward projections of other internal emotional problems he is facing. And then the conversation quickly flowed into other things and we started talking about hipsters. And hipsters, if anybody knows ‘em knows that they are the self-proclaimed cool kids. The ironic part is that they look silly distinguishing themselves, I mean any group that has so many blogs mocking them already has to realize that they are a perfect comic relief.

A good blog that inserts some deep commentary into humor is always fine by me…..

http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/

Dont be passive aggressive with me

No really, if you know me you know I am not one to be passive aggressive. I hate when people half-ass an attempt to do something, and just act half-ass. It really shows character, or lack thereof. Plus, why say things if you don’t mean them, isn’t that something as adults we work on and hopefully overcome. Grow up and take your words seriously. That is unless we are joking or sending someecards to each other. That is why I am pissed, oh and this is a disclaimer that I’m not talking about you. I’m taking about a person that causes me stress. And funny thing is that person asked me once if they cause me stress. I felt like texting them “I lied, you do cause me stress” but I forgot. I tend to forget a lot of things lately.

Need a new wallpaper?

 

 

New Theme…Yay or Gay

let me know… either way embrace change in your life.